Gratitude

I started to write a "Holiday" blog about Christmas and likes and dislikes, gifts, traditions and opinions and then it hit me... none of that really matters.

Big picture, none of it matters.

This season of our lives has been rough, brutal at times. My husband is working 50+ hours a week, going to school full time and we have two very busy girls under 3. Things are tight and it seems like no matter what is going on, how hard my husband works, things are always coming up a little short.

This Thanksgiving, we were planning on going over to a friend of the family's house and we were going to have a big, wonderful meal and fellowship. The day before, my 2 year old comes down with strep throat, my 8 month old has a faucet for nose, I've lost my voice and my husband isn't feeling so hot either. While "sharing is caring," some things are best kept to oneself... ya know, like strep. So we weren't able to go. But the day before this, the Lord provided all of the food we would need for our own family Thanksgiving meal down to the dollar. He also provided the fuel we would need for our car to get us through until Tim's paychecks could be deposited. We didn't get a $500 shopping spree to any store of our choice, we didn't win the lottery, we got exactly what we needed and on the exact day we needed it.

Spiritually, it seems like things have been quiet for awhile. Then, out of the blue, God will answered our prayers and give us the boost we need to get us through the rough patches. It's never fun being sick or having sick little ones, but sometimes you just need to slow down, quit moving so fast and just sit together. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day just the 4 of us and I think it was what He wanted. We serve a loving and generous God. We can either sit around complaining about what we don't have, how it would be so much better if things were different.... or we can just change our perspective a little and see how much God is dropping right in our lap if we'd only care to see it.

C25K - Day Three!

Week 1 is in the books! We are 1/6 in the way to our goal, although it doesn't feel like it right now. When I get winded and my muscles tighten up after 60 seconds of jogging, it's hard to believe that I'll eventually be able to run for any length of time at all. But we keep sticking with it!  Today the little one was napping at home so it was just my toddler and me. This proved to be a bit of a challenge since the jogging stroller is a double. Fortunately, an old box of journals weighs about as much as my littlest. (I knew those would come in handy for something....) I'm sure I got some funny looks! I told Neva to get her finger OUT of her nose which caused get to only dig deeper for the gold.... always so classy...

Tonight, both girls and I went for a little walk (just over a mile roundtrip) to grab a bit for dinner. They're getting used to the jogging stroller and I think really enjoy being side by side. Neva had her arm around Esther for part of our walk. :)  My calves are both a little sore and tight but trying to drink water and stretch. The next step will be to start eating well enough for any of this exercise to matter. One step at a time.... :)

Neva and I stopped to admire the view of the ocean and the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel for a minute before getting back to it. She was also able to choose whether we turned out kept going straight on our route, which she enjoyed.

C25K - Day Two!!

Well, I can officially say that I've gone farther with this than I thought I would, 2 days in a week! :) Again, not as bad as I expected.

The girls did a lot better this time, which was really nice. I didn't use headphones so they could listen to the music too and we went through residential areas to cut down on the wind. We also went an hour earlier so it wasn't so close to bedtime. They had a good time! No tears! We saw a lake, a squirrel, 2 dogs and a cat... very exciting business. :)

Things started out a little rough, after the first run when I was walking I could feel the muscles tightening, but it got easier as I went on. It was a pleasant surprise. I'm not completely sure what I'm going for with this, I think it's just to see if I can do it. I don't have a scale, so I can't really go by weight. I'm just going to go by feel and the fit of my clothes. We'll see how it goes! :)

My "Couch to 5k" Journey

Today I did something I've never done or ever envisioned myself doing: I went for a run. I've never been a runner, ever. It was something done as a punishment in gym class and quite frankly if there isn't a hungry bear on my 6, I don't want much to do with it. However, I have been wanting to do something to help bounce back after my 2nd baby and just feel a little better about myself. I don't feel like I need to get "ripped" or drop 40 pounds (frankly, I think I'd look weird that skinny), but just get fit.

I've tossed around the idea of trying out the "Couch to 5k" plan. I liked that they eased you into things, you get to alternate walking and running and 5k seems attainable. It also helps that there are free apps available that time everything for you and just tell you what to do. The easier the better! With two little ones, I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to sqeeze in the time since I didn't have a jogging stroller nor capital to just pick one up. When a free one (yes, FREE) came available, I hopped at the chance and took it as a sign to get my tush in gear.

Today was the first day in my "Couch to 5k" journey. Hopefully, with some self-discipline and accountability (yes, you!), in 6 weeks I'll be able to run most of a 5k. At this point I haven't registered for any races, bit I'm thinking about it. It would be good to have a goal to work toward.

It went ok! I don't have the god awful searing pain in my legs I was expecting, but I'll also try to not go so close to nap time our next time out. Between that and the chilly wind, the girls didn't have the best of times. The look on Neva's face when I first started jogging was pretty priceless though. "Here we goooooooooo!" she said. :) Yes baby girl, here we go.

With a heavy and happy heart

I greet you all with a heavy and happy heart. Today is the day of 2 funerals of friends who have passed away after struggles with cancer, one in Colorado that my parents will be attending and one here in Virginia that we'll be going to. Both of these people were wonderful, strong, faith-filled and had wonderful laughs. :) Fortunately, knowing these two people were a brother and sister in the Lord, this is more of a "See you later" ceremony rather than a "Good-bye". Neither of them are in pain any longer, but left behind spouses, children and one also had grandchildren.

Memorials are never easy, they shouldn't be, but they are good. More and more I'm realizing that the "good" thing is rarely easy. Memorials bring us together, allow us to grieve, cry, laugh and remember our cherished ones together.

But you know most of this already. What you don't know... is why I have a happy heart. :) I have a very happy heart because my brother and sister-in-law welcomed the newest edition to their family yesterday!! I'm an AUNTIE!!!!!!! Again!! :) And I'm absolutely over the moon about it. :)

She had a very smooth and easy labor, which was a big answer to prayer, especially since sweet Bella was over 10 lbs!! :) I'm so excited for them and the rest of their kiddos!

So today my heart is heavy, but also bubbling over. Lots of answered prayers have revealed themselves very differently over this past week.

Is that too much to ask?

All I want is to make sad people happy, happy people dancey, dancey people ecstatic and have ecstatic people share it and pass it along. That's my plan to change the world. How to start? Smiling at people. Making eye contact. Neva randomly smiles, waves and says "Hi!" to people. I've yet to see this absolutely tick anybody off.

We live in such a paradox, we are closer than ever to people but so isolated! Reach out and love on people. Invite them out to coffee or over for a meal. Share you life with others! One of my biggest fears is saying the wrong thing, so I don't usually say anything. Then it hit me, if I never say anything I don't have much chance of saying the right thing either.

One of my favorite things about parenting is being able re-discover everything I've taken for granted. I'm able to watch my girls figuring out the world (how cool is that?!) and finding out how absolutely amazing it is. I've got to take some lessons from them. Here are a couple that I've figured out so far:

1. Never be too busy to play in puddles.
2. Kisses make everything better.
3. Snuggles are the best way to end every day.
4. Life is messy... and that's okay.
5. Music is everywhere! Don't forget to listen for it.
6. Everyone is happier outside.

There are about a million more but are a little hard to think of when I'm still only on my first cup of coffee. I've gone a little off-topic from where I first thought this post was going, such is life. Most things I've done have rarely ended up how I've planned. I kind of like it that way. :)

And the world spins madly on...

I'm not totally sure what to write, but just wanted to say that we keep on keeping on. If I could put a word on the feeling... "tempestuous". Everything seems up in the air and it's all very unsettling.

 It seems like cancer is making quite the run through some of my friends and family, which is always hard. Some are winning their battles and some are finally being able to rest. But in the midst of the sadness and hurt, there are babies, there are rainstorms, there are rainbows and there is laughter. Life has been really hard for so many people the past... while. I have learned to find comfort and solace in the Lord and in my relationships, both new and old.  My beautiful and sweet cousin reminded me this morning that the Lord will never leave us, especially when we feel down and discouraged; otherwise He couldn't be our Comforter.

So in the middle of loss, heartbreak, discouragement and frustration, let me remind you of the beautiful things. :)

 

 

Beautiful smiles from beautiful babies!

Friendship!

Messes :)

Puddles!!!

Taking tea in the tub :)

Discovering new worlds

Making connections

Cupcake cones with extra frosting!!

More friendship :)

Self Discovery

Life is crazy. It'll always be crazy. But so long as you're grounded in who you are, who you love and who you serve, there will always be beauty.