Our New Chapter!

Needless to say, it's been a busy couple of weeks. But they've been good! Adapting to life with two babes rather than just one has been... interesting. I'm beyond thankful that my mom was able to come out and stay for as long as she did. Poor thing, I gave her our crud that we had! She only had a voice for half of her trip and didn't get to sleep or rest much, but she was able to snuggle her granddaughters, so I think that softened the blow a bit. :)

It is different needing to juggle the two little ones, but fortunately, Neva is pretty much awesome. Esther will be 3 weeks on Sunday and we're already starting to find our groove a little bit. Neva's sleeping is starting to get back on track, which has done wonders. She's so sweet to her sister, giving her hugs and kisses as often as possible. We've made a big effort to make sure she's not a mystery. Neva is allowed to hold her, see her, kiss her, pat her, touch her as often as she likes. Hubs and I are also doing what we can to make sure she still gets her one-on-one time, play times with friends and whatnot too. Then there are the days where none of us get out of our pj's and we just have a movie day. :) We're all getting used to what is now the new norm, good and bad days alike.

It is nice not having to learn how to be a mom this time around. Poor Neva got the short end of the stick on a lot of things just by being the first one. :) We're more laid back and everything isn't so new and scary. We already have our little routines and Esther's just falling into and molding them. Some things are a lot easier, nursing especially. My milk came in faster, evened out quicker and I "toughened up" a lot sooner than with Neva (thank goodness). Bath time isn't a source of anxiety ("Holy crap! Am I going to drown my baby in 3 inches of water?!"). Bed time isn't an ongoing source of stress and frustration (Thank you swaddling and white noise!), I know and understand that babies just wake up a lot. It sounds dumb to say it out loud, but it was very stressful with Neva when she wouldn't sleep. Now I just catch my winks when I can... even if that means on the futon with a baby passed out on my chest because I know that might be the only place she'll sleep right then. :)

There is stress. There's a lot of crying and a lot of poop. We're not on time to anything and if we do make it there's either spit up, poo or both on at least one of our outfits. But there's a lot of smiles, snuggles and laughter. And love. A ton of love. :) Tim and I have been blessed with two gorgeous, healthy and happy (most of the time) girls. We're just boarding this crazy adventure, but I'm really excited to see where it's going to lead.

Adapting to life on the outside!

Snuggles with Nana!

Lovin' the handmade receiving blankets :)

Seriously?! Little bitty leggings and owl booties? Cuteness: off the charts!

Birth Story!! Welcome Esther Grace!

She's here!! She's here!!! :)

Our dear little Esther Grace arrived this past Sunday morning and I wanted to share my birth story with you.

When I had Neva, she never fully engaged and wasn't facing the correct way, these (along with the induction, in my opinion) were responsible for her c-section. Everything went smoothly, but I just wanted a different experience. I didn't get to hold her right away and I felt like the bonding took a little longer than it might have if I would have been able to deliver vaginally. I knew that if I were to have another baby, I'd like to try for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarian).

From my first prenatal appointment, that's the tune I went in singing: VBAC! VBAC! VBAC! My doctor seemed to only tell me all the negative statistics of uterine rupture, fatality rates and horror stories. While I took all of this into consideration, I didn't let it effect my decision. I felt like if I were able to go into labor spontaneously and let her come in her own time, things would just play out differently. Every single appointment we went through this. It wasn't until my 38 week appointment that my doctor checked me that he felt that I was truly able to go into labor on my own and cancelled my scheduled c-section (which is apparently standard procedure for people who've had a previous c-section). He asked me one last time if I really wanted to go for a VBAC and gave me this huge sizing up look and without doubt or twitch I stood my ground. It wasn't until then did he start to tell me there was a 50%-80% success rate for VBACs and that it's a very attainable goal. I felt such a feeling of success and I wasn't even in labor yet!

I started taking Evening Primrose Oil capsules around 35 weeks to try and boost the effacing. I think it helped, I was 50% effaced at my 38 wk appt (more than I was with Neva). I would take trips up and down the stairs in my apartment building to try and help Esther drop. I think this helped more with building some strength and stamina in my legs rather than helping her drop. At my 39 wk appt, Esther still hadn't dropped, I was 1 cm dilated and still about 50% effaced. After every appointment, I'd send an e-mail to my doula, Emily, and keep her posted on how everything was going. She was wonderful! Always very supportive and willing to dispense any advice for any issues or worries I was having. While I was debating about getting a doula, I decided that I needed some extra support. It would take some stress off of Tim and I wasn't sure if my mom would get here in time. I'm so happy that my friends convinced me to get a doula. :)

On Saturday, 3/9, the day before my due date, I wanted to get things moving. I had been waking up to contractions for a week and I was ready to get out and about. My friend Jen packed up her kiddos, husband and dog, I grabbed Neva and we all headed to the park to walk out a baby! Around 11:30 a.m. I was starting to get contractions that were intense enough to stop me in my tracks and I needed to hold on to the stroller and squat down. This felt so much better! It gave a place for the pressure to go and spread things out, but they were about 15 minutes apart. After walking about a mile and half, we headed home. I skyped with my parents and in-laws, walking and squatting periodically during contractions.

About 6:30 p.m. my contractions were consistently 5-6 min apart, so I started making phone calls. First, I called my mom and told her to change her plane ticket. Next, I called Emily and let her know where we were at. Around 9 p.m., the contractions were getting more intense, so that's when I asked Emily to come over. I knew I had wanted to labor at home for as long as I could and things were going great! She had her bag o' goodies to help ease some pains. Tim got Neva ready for bed and took her over to a friend's house to spend the night (thanks so much Jen!!) while Emily and I worked through things at home. During each contraction I had mild back labor, Emily rubbed my back with a pool noodle like a rolling pin. It felt so nice to have that pressure. With my first birth, I was put on pitosin right off the bat so I never had natural contractions. These, although uncomfortable, weren't nearly as bad and it felt so nice to be able to move around, sway, roll on the ball and lean on a counter, not to mention being able to drink water or have a snack! Emily was right there for every contraction lending support and comfort. :)

Tim got back around 11:30 p.m. and I told him we were ready to go to the hospital. We hopped in the car, Emily right behind us and off we went! We got to DePaul Medical Center about midnight and had a very easy admission. The 3 contractions in the wheelchair were a beast, but other than that we went straight to a room and got settled. I had tested positive for Group B Strep, so I got hooked up to an IV to get antibiotics and fluids. When the nurse checked me out, I was about 3-4 cm dilated and about 80% effaced.  I was still able to move around and drink water, huge blessing! Emily's support was priceless. Even when I had to lay down for one reason or another, she would gently rub my shins during contractions and knowing that I wasn't alone in this, that I had unwavering support, helped so much. :)

Around 4:30 a.m. I finally gave in and asked for some pain meds. It was a systemic medication that didn't really help with the pain, but it really helped me to relax and rest in between the contractions. Emily helped me to breathe through each contraction, helping me to relax and stay focused. Her constant reminders of breathing out low and loud were such a help. It was this deep, low, primal moan that really helped me to release all of that tension and stay loose. The more intense the contraction, the louder the wail. My water broke about 5 a.m. and what a relief that was! I couldn't believe how much there was in there and the release of pressure. Esther still hadn't dropped yet, but I was dilated to 7 cm. That's when it really hit me that things were progressing well. I was working through each contraction with my eyes closed, listening to the coaching of Miss Emily.

Around 5:45 a.m. I started hearing new voices in the room. When I opened my eyes I saw my doctor, a couple new nurses and the pediatrician. I started hearing words like "decreased heart rate" and was asked to put on oxygen. I was also hearing that she was still very high and I started to have flashbacks of the things I heard while in labor with Neva. The doctor had given me an episiotomy and had manually done some stretching and manipulating to try and get Esther into the right position. Still high and looking in the wrong direction. My husband was at my bedside, holding my hand and giving encouraging words. My doctor then told me they were thinking about c-section. They had anesthesia ready, the operating room was getting prepped and the surgical assistant was getting ready.

Then, our miracle happened.

With the next contraction, I pushed and all in one motion her heartbeat came back super strong she engaged and turned into the perfect position. My doctor looked at me and said "Her heartbeat is what's keeping us in this room right now. Let's get ready to push." I couldn't believe it! Our fates had changed in a matter of seconds. We were going to have us a baby! (I later found out that my mother-in-law woke up from a dead sleep and started to pray right at this crucial time. How cool is that?!) Esther got into the perfect position and we were ready to push. My doctor looked at me and told me that her heart rate was back where it should be and we were go to push. A couple of big pushes later, Esther's head had come out and her umbilical cord was wrapped so tightly around her neck, the doctor couldn't get his fingers in between the cord and her neck, hence the decreased heart rate. He got it figured out and we were ready to keep on pushing. A couple more big pushes and little Esther Grace in her entirety was here in the world!!! :)

We had a successful VBAC!!!!

Right after Esther arrived! :) We did it!!!!

All of the newborn "stuff" was done while I was in the room (unlike my c-section where I was able to see her for a minute then didn't see her again for the next 2 1/2-3 hours) and I was able to snuggle her within minutes.

Getting our skin-to-skin right away

The Dream Team!! Tim, Emily (the super doula!), me and miss Esther Grace

Esther Grace Chandler; 6 lbs 15 oz and 21 inches long

Heading to our recovery room. I still can't believe we did it!

Emily and Esther :) What an awesome experience for your first birth! :)

Our first family photo!!

When I started this whole journey, I didn't think I was going to get a doula. I thought they were overrated and I could do it on my own. I didn't need that hippy-dippy kinda stuff. Looking back, I know that I wouldn't have been able to handle the back labor or been able to stay relaxed and focused on my own. I would have gotten an epidural a couple of hours in. While my husband is very supportive and comforting, having the support of another woman (who's a third party and can distinguish between contraction pain and "something's wrong" pain) was incredible. Emily was right there when I needed her and Tim was right there when I needed him. Both of them together gave me the exact support and comfort that was necessary at the perfect times.


My mom was able to fly in on Sunday afternoon and hold her new granddaughter less than 12 hours after she'd arrived into the world.

I'm so happy with how this birth experience went and I hope that our next one goes as smoothly. :)