Gratitude

I started to write a "Holiday" blog about Christmas and likes and dislikes, gifts, traditions and opinions and then it hit me... none of that really matters.

Big picture, none of it matters.

This season of our lives has been rough, brutal at times. My husband is working 50+ hours a week, going to school full time and we have two very busy girls under 3. Things are tight and it seems like no matter what is going on, how hard my husband works, things are always coming up a little short.

This Thanksgiving, we were planning on going over to a friend of the family's house and we were going to have a big, wonderful meal and fellowship. The day before, my 2 year old comes down with strep throat, my 8 month old has a faucet for nose, I've lost my voice and my husband isn't feeling so hot either. While "sharing is caring," some things are best kept to oneself... ya know, like strep. So we weren't able to go. But the day before this, the Lord provided all of the food we would need for our own family Thanksgiving meal down to the dollar. He also provided the fuel we would need for our car to get us through until Tim's paychecks could be deposited. We didn't get a $500 shopping spree to any store of our choice, we didn't win the lottery, we got exactly what we needed and on the exact day we needed it.

Spiritually, it seems like things have been quiet for awhile. Then, out of the blue, God will answered our prayers and give us the boost we need to get us through the rough patches. It's never fun being sick or having sick little ones, but sometimes you just need to slow down, quit moving so fast and just sit together. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day just the 4 of us and I think it was what He wanted. We serve a loving and generous God. We can either sit around complaining about what we don't have, how it would be so much better if things were different.... or we can just change our perspective a little and see how much God is dropping right in our lap if we'd only care to see it.

C25K - Day Three!

Week 1 is in the books! We are 1/6 in the way to our goal, although it doesn't feel like it right now. When I get winded and my muscles tighten up after 60 seconds of jogging, it's hard to believe that I'll eventually be able to run for any length of time at all. But we keep sticking with it!  Today the little one was napping at home so it was just my toddler and me. This proved to be a bit of a challenge since the jogging stroller is a double. Fortunately, an old box of journals weighs about as much as my littlest. (I knew those would come in handy for something....) I'm sure I got some funny looks! I told Neva to get her finger OUT of her nose which caused get to only dig deeper for the gold.... always so classy...

Tonight, both girls and I went for a little walk (just over a mile roundtrip) to grab a bit for dinner. They're getting used to the jogging stroller and I think really enjoy being side by side. Neva had her arm around Esther for part of our walk. :)  My calves are both a little sore and tight but trying to drink water and stretch. The next step will be to start eating well enough for any of this exercise to matter. One step at a time.... :)

Neva and I stopped to admire the view of the ocean and the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel for a minute before getting back to it. She was also able to choose whether we turned out kept going straight on our route, which she enjoyed.

C25K - Day Two!!

Well, I can officially say that I've gone farther with this than I thought I would, 2 days in a week! :) Again, not as bad as I expected.

The girls did a lot better this time, which was really nice. I didn't use headphones so they could listen to the music too and we went through residential areas to cut down on the wind. We also went an hour earlier so it wasn't so close to bedtime. They had a good time! No tears! We saw a lake, a squirrel, 2 dogs and a cat... very exciting business. :)

Things started out a little rough, after the first run when I was walking I could feel the muscles tightening, but it got easier as I went on. It was a pleasant surprise. I'm not completely sure what I'm going for with this, I think it's just to see if I can do it. I don't have a scale, so I can't really go by weight. I'm just going to go by feel and the fit of my clothes. We'll see how it goes! :)

My "Couch to 5k" Journey

Today I did something I've never done or ever envisioned myself doing: I went for a run. I've never been a runner, ever. It was something done as a punishment in gym class and quite frankly if there isn't a hungry bear on my 6, I don't want much to do with it. However, I have been wanting to do something to help bounce back after my 2nd baby and just feel a little better about myself. I don't feel like I need to get "ripped" or drop 40 pounds (frankly, I think I'd look weird that skinny), but just get fit.

I've tossed around the idea of trying out the "Couch to 5k" plan. I liked that they eased you into things, you get to alternate walking and running and 5k seems attainable. It also helps that there are free apps available that time everything for you and just tell you what to do. The easier the better! With two little ones, I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to sqeeze in the time since I didn't have a jogging stroller nor capital to just pick one up. When a free one (yes, FREE) came available, I hopped at the chance and took it as a sign to get my tush in gear.

Today was the first day in my "Couch to 5k" journey. Hopefully, with some self-discipline and accountability (yes, you!), in 6 weeks I'll be able to run most of a 5k. At this point I haven't registered for any races, bit I'm thinking about it. It would be good to have a goal to work toward.

It went ok! I don't have the god awful searing pain in my legs I was expecting, but I'll also try to not go so close to nap time our next time out. Between that and the chilly wind, the girls didn't have the best of times. The look on Neva's face when I first started jogging was pretty priceless though. "Here we goooooooooo!" she said. :) Yes baby girl, here we go.

With a heavy and happy heart

I greet you all with a heavy and happy heart. Today is the day of 2 funerals of friends who have passed away after struggles with cancer, one in Colorado that my parents will be attending and one here in Virginia that we'll be going to. Both of these people were wonderful, strong, faith-filled and had wonderful laughs. :) Fortunately, knowing these two people were a brother and sister in the Lord, this is more of a "See you later" ceremony rather than a "Good-bye". Neither of them are in pain any longer, but left behind spouses, children and one also had grandchildren.

Memorials are never easy, they shouldn't be, but they are good. More and more I'm realizing that the "good" thing is rarely easy. Memorials bring us together, allow us to grieve, cry, laugh and remember our cherished ones together.

But you know most of this already. What you don't know... is why I have a happy heart. :) I have a very happy heart because my brother and sister-in-law welcomed the newest edition to their family yesterday!! I'm an AUNTIE!!!!!!! Again!! :) And I'm absolutely over the moon about it. :)

She had a very smooth and easy labor, which was a big answer to prayer, especially since sweet Bella was over 10 lbs!! :) I'm so excited for them and the rest of their kiddos!

So today my heart is heavy, but also bubbling over. Lots of answered prayers have revealed themselves very differently over this past week.

Is that too much to ask?

All I want is to make sad people happy, happy people dancey, dancey people ecstatic and have ecstatic people share it and pass it along. That's my plan to change the world. How to start? Smiling at people. Making eye contact. Neva randomly smiles, waves and says "Hi!" to people. I've yet to see this absolutely tick anybody off.

We live in such a paradox, we are closer than ever to people but so isolated! Reach out and love on people. Invite them out to coffee or over for a meal. Share you life with others! One of my biggest fears is saying the wrong thing, so I don't usually say anything. Then it hit me, if I never say anything I don't have much chance of saying the right thing either.

One of my favorite things about parenting is being able re-discover everything I've taken for granted. I'm able to watch my girls figuring out the world (how cool is that?!) and finding out how absolutely amazing it is. I've got to take some lessons from them. Here are a couple that I've figured out so far:

1. Never be too busy to play in puddles.
2. Kisses make everything better.
3. Snuggles are the best way to end every day.
4. Life is messy... and that's okay.
5. Music is everywhere! Don't forget to listen for it.
6. Everyone is happier outside.

There are about a million more but are a little hard to think of when I'm still only on my first cup of coffee. I've gone a little off-topic from where I first thought this post was going, such is life. Most things I've done have rarely ended up how I've planned. I kind of like it that way. :)

And the world spins madly on...

I'm not totally sure what to write, but just wanted to say that we keep on keeping on. If I could put a word on the feeling... "tempestuous". Everything seems up in the air and it's all very unsettling.

 It seems like cancer is making quite the run through some of my friends and family, which is always hard. Some are winning their battles and some are finally being able to rest. But in the midst of the sadness and hurt, there are babies, there are rainstorms, there are rainbows and there is laughter. Life has been really hard for so many people the past... while. I have learned to find comfort and solace in the Lord and in my relationships, both new and old.  My beautiful and sweet cousin reminded me this morning that the Lord will never leave us, especially when we feel down and discouraged; otherwise He couldn't be our Comforter.

So in the middle of loss, heartbreak, discouragement and frustration, let me remind you of the beautiful things. :)

 

 

Beautiful smiles from beautiful babies!

Friendship!

Messes :)

Puddles!!!

Taking tea in the tub :)

Discovering new worlds

Making connections

Cupcake cones with extra frosting!!

More friendship :)

Self Discovery

Life is crazy. It'll always be crazy. But so long as you're grounded in who you are, who you love and who you serve, there will always be beauty.

Epiphany!!

The past month I have felt something in my heart. I have been so overwhelmed by life, feeling so isolated and beginning to feel like somehow, someway, I'm completely failing as a mom. There are two beautiful girls who I get to wake up to everyday and I have the privilege of being their mother. I thought motherhood was supposed to be this glorious experience full of discoveries, love and memories. And while it is all of those things, most days are just a blur of yelling, crying and poop.

I look around and I feel like I'm the only mom who doesn't have it all together. We're making it. My girls are healthy, happy and growing but I feel like I'm in complete shambles. The housework doesn't get done most days. My kids eat chicken nuggets more than once a week. They don't get all organic foods. I rarely get a chance to check myself in the mirror before we got some place. I can't remember the last time I brushed my hair and I just rotate yoga pants. In the age of Facebook and Pinterest, it is so easy to compare your life to the picture perfect ones being advertised around every corner of social media.

 My husband is working two jobs and going to school full time in order to provide for his family and give us something for the future. I needed something. Some kind of help or support from other women, who've been there and going through the same thing I am.

I looked into MOPS (Mothers Of Pre-Schoolers) and went to the first meeting two weeks ago. I think it's going to be a good thing. The whole goal of MOPS is to bring moms together and to give them a much needed break, just for a little while. It is a mix of moms of all ages and backgrounds and their kids are all different ages. I received a hand-written card from the woman who's heading it up thanking me for coming, letting me know that she's praying for me and that the next week's topic will be "Avoiding Mommy Comparisons". :) But on the off-nights of MOPS, this church also hosts a mom book group. The book is called "Desperate: Hope For The Mom Who Needs To Breathe". I'm only a couple of chapters in, but this book has already been such a blessing.

The first thing I realized: I'M NOT IN THIS ALONE. I'm not the only mom who's feeling overwhelmed with this gigantic task of raising the next generation. In fact, every mom I've talked to who's in this similar season is feeling exactly how I am. So answer me this: Why the heck do we all feel so alone?! We're all going through the same thing, why not encourage each other? Let each other know that it's going to be ok. Yes, your kids just drew a masterpiece on the inside of your cabinets with a Sharpie. Yes, they just ate mac & cheese.... again. No, they aren't potty trained yet. No, they aren't measuring up the crazy advanced kid down the street. No, they aren't going to pre-school at 2 years old. And it's all  going to be ok. It's so easy to say and hear the phrase "Well yeah, every kid's different" but it seems like all we do is judge each other for doing things differently. Your child is still wonderful and sweet and smart and silly and completely yours!

I decided to conduct a little experiment. I decided I was going to try and compliment 2 moms every time I went out. Out loud. To their face. Tell another mom that they're doing a good job. Give them some sort of encouragement that they aren't in this alone, that they aren't failing. It was amazing! The look of relief that graced these women's faces was one that I know all too well. 'Thank you, someone sees the struggle beyond the screaming.' We all need that little boost of encouragement. You never know which mom is almost at their breaking point and those few words can really push back the clouds.

Let's talk to each other. Don't be so afraid of appearing like you don't have it all together, because (here's the beautiful truth) NOBODY DOES. Every mom is struggling with something, but every mom also has strengths that you can draw from. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are the best mom for your kids. They know that, sometimes it just takes awhile for us to remember that too.

Kindle Cover Tutorial

I'm going to apologize ahead of time, this is the first tutorial I've written. So if things don't make sense, please leave a comment or e-mail me and I'll clarify. :)

What You'll Need:
- 1/2 yd decorative cotton for the outside (or scraps enough to piece together)
- 1/2 yd fleece or interfacing
- 1/2 yd flannel
- Fusible web (I like MistyFuse, but if you can't find any, you can use a lot of pins)
- Velcro or other closure of your choice
- Thread
- Scissors
- Sewing machine

Optional:
- I use a non-fray/non-stretch canvas called Multi-Purpose Cloth (MPC) from Roc-Lon. It's durable, but softens the more you use it. You can fuse to it, paint it, color on it, love it. It's the "bones" for most of the projects I do. (Buy it here!)
- Rotary cutter and mat

**Note: This tutorial is for the 8.9" Kindle Fire, but you could easily switch up the measurements and use it for whatever size tablet you have.

**All measurements are given in inches. I used a satin stitch for my edges and this takes a bit of thread. It helps to have 3 or so bobbins already wound before you start so you don't have to lose your groove to fill them up. :)

Here we go!

The actual measurement of my Kindle was 9 1/2 x 6 1/4, so I decided I was going to round up and make my piece 8x24. It could've been a little smaller, but worked out with the print of the fabric and will now fit if I get a small cover to fit around it eventually.

MistyFuse the back of all your fabric, except the fleece. (I experimented with this and it melts before it really gets a good fuse.) Let it cure for 10-20 minutes. It will stick to itself if it's not finished curing. You'll know it's done when it doesn't feel tacky to the touch.

Cut one 8 x 24 piece of  MPC (white-- shown below),  then I did 10x26 for the flannel (green) and fleece (purple) or interfacing. This is because the fabric will pull in a little when you quilt it and you can always cut off the extra. I chose to piece together my outside, each piece is 8 1/2 x 10 1/2, then 4 1/2 x 8 1/2 for the flap.

 (This step is a lot easier if a curious baby doesn't wake up early from her nap.) :)

Fuse cotton to MPC. I used a satin stitch at the seams of each piece to hold it in place. I really like using variegated thread for satin stitching, it's got such a fun look and a great way to add more color.

Then I fused the flannel to the fleece. This has to be done in small bits so you don't melt the fleece.  This is where it would be lots easier with a fusible fleece or fusible interfacing, no pins needed. I used flannel for my liner. It's fusible without melting and mine didn't have a wrong side, so it left a smaller margin for error.

Quilt it! I was so intimidated of quilting, I'm not sure why. Have fun here!! I tried free motion quilting for the first time on this project. It was fun to play, learn and overcome another fear.

Trim up the edges using your scissors or rotary cutter. Use a plate or a bowl and place it on the inside of your flap to mark your curves. Trim.

Place and sew your Velcro or closure. Satin stitch what will be the top of your opening (right above your Velcro).

Fold up your piece, insides together, leaving a 4 inch flap at the top. For my measurements, it was 10 inches to the front and 14 to the back. With the raw edges facing out, sew a basting stitch along your "envelope". This is a great time to see if your tablet fits. 

Satin stitch over your basting stitches, catching the raw edges in your stitch. I usually start at one bottom corner, then you can just go up the side, around the top of the flap and down the other side.

And you're done!! Now you have your very own custom tablet case!

Our New Chapter!

Needless to say, it's been a busy couple of weeks. But they've been good! Adapting to life with two babes rather than just one has been... interesting. I'm beyond thankful that my mom was able to come out and stay for as long as she did. Poor thing, I gave her our crud that we had! She only had a voice for half of her trip and didn't get to sleep or rest much, but she was able to snuggle her granddaughters, so I think that softened the blow a bit. :)

It is different needing to juggle the two little ones, but fortunately, Neva is pretty much awesome. Esther will be 3 weeks on Sunday and we're already starting to find our groove a little bit. Neva's sleeping is starting to get back on track, which has done wonders. She's so sweet to her sister, giving her hugs and kisses as often as possible. We've made a big effort to make sure she's not a mystery. Neva is allowed to hold her, see her, kiss her, pat her, touch her as often as she likes. Hubs and I are also doing what we can to make sure she still gets her one-on-one time, play times with friends and whatnot too. Then there are the days where none of us get out of our pj's and we just have a movie day. :) We're all getting used to what is now the new norm, good and bad days alike.

It is nice not having to learn how to be a mom this time around. Poor Neva got the short end of the stick on a lot of things just by being the first one. :) We're more laid back and everything isn't so new and scary. We already have our little routines and Esther's just falling into and molding them. Some things are a lot easier, nursing especially. My milk came in faster, evened out quicker and I "toughened up" a lot sooner than with Neva (thank goodness). Bath time isn't a source of anxiety ("Holy crap! Am I going to drown my baby in 3 inches of water?!"). Bed time isn't an ongoing source of stress and frustration (Thank you swaddling and white noise!), I know and understand that babies just wake up a lot. It sounds dumb to say it out loud, but it was very stressful with Neva when she wouldn't sleep. Now I just catch my winks when I can... even if that means on the futon with a baby passed out on my chest because I know that might be the only place she'll sleep right then. :)

There is stress. There's a lot of crying and a lot of poop. We're not on time to anything and if we do make it there's either spit up, poo or both on at least one of our outfits. But there's a lot of smiles, snuggles and laughter. And love. A ton of love. :) Tim and I have been blessed with two gorgeous, healthy and happy (most of the time) girls. We're just boarding this crazy adventure, but I'm really excited to see where it's going to lead.

Adapting to life on the outside!

Snuggles with Nana!

Lovin' the handmade receiving blankets :)

Seriously?! Little bitty leggings and owl booties? Cuteness: off the charts!

Birth Story!! Welcome Esther Grace!

She's here!! She's here!!! :)

Our dear little Esther Grace arrived this past Sunday morning and I wanted to share my birth story with you.

When I had Neva, she never fully engaged and wasn't facing the correct way, these (along with the induction, in my opinion) were responsible for her c-section. Everything went smoothly, but I just wanted a different experience. I didn't get to hold her right away and I felt like the bonding took a little longer than it might have if I would have been able to deliver vaginally. I knew that if I were to have another baby, I'd like to try for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarian).

From my first prenatal appointment, that's the tune I went in singing: VBAC! VBAC! VBAC! My doctor seemed to only tell me all the negative statistics of uterine rupture, fatality rates and horror stories. While I took all of this into consideration, I didn't let it effect my decision. I felt like if I were able to go into labor spontaneously and let her come in her own time, things would just play out differently. Every single appointment we went through this. It wasn't until my 38 week appointment that my doctor checked me that he felt that I was truly able to go into labor on my own and cancelled my scheduled c-section (which is apparently standard procedure for people who've had a previous c-section). He asked me one last time if I really wanted to go for a VBAC and gave me this huge sizing up look and without doubt or twitch I stood my ground. It wasn't until then did he start to tell me there was a 50%-80% success rate for VBACs and that it's a very attainable goal. I felt such a feeling of success and I wasn't even in labor yet!

I started taking Evening Primrose Oil capsules around 35 weeks to try and boost the effacing. I think it helped, I was 50% effaced at my 38 wk appt (more than I was with Neva). I would take trips up and down the stairs in my apartment building to try and help Esther drop. I think this helped more with building some strength and stamina in my legs rather than helping her drop. At my 39 wk appt, Esther still hadn't dropped, I was 1 cm dilated and still about 50% effaced. After every appointment, I'd send an e-mail to my doula, Emily, and keep her posted on how everything was going. She was wonderful! Always very supportive and willing to dispense any advice for any issues or worries I was having. While I was debating about getting a doula, I decided that I needed some extra support. It would take some stress off of Tim and I wasn't sure if my mom would get here in time. I'm so happy that my friends convinced me to get a doula. :)

On Saturday, 3/9, the day before my due date, I wanted to get things moving. I had been waking up to contractions for a week and I was ready to get out and about. My friend Jen packed up her kiddos, husband and dog, I grabbed Neva and we all headed to the park to walk out a baby! Around 11:30 a.m. I was starting to get contractions that were intense enough to stop me in my tracks and I needed to hold on to the stroller and squat down. This felt so much better! It gave a place for the pressure to go and spread things out, but they were about 15 minutes apart. After walking about a mile and half, we headed home. I skyped with my parents and in-laws, walking and squatting periodically during contractions.

About 6:30 p.m. my contractions were consistently 5-6 min apart, so I started making phone calls. First, I called my mom and told her to change her plane ticket. Next, I called Emily and let her know where we were at. Around 9 p.m., the contractions were getting more intense, so that's when I asked Emily to come over. I knew I had wanted to labor at home for as long as I could and things were going great! She had her bag o' goodies to help ease some pains. Tim got Neva ready for bed and took her over to a friend's house to spend the night (thanks so much Jen!!) while Emily and I worked through things at home. During each contraction I had mild back labor, Emily rubbed my back with a pool noodle like a rolling pin. It felt so nice to have that pressure. With my first birth, I was put on pitosin right off the bat so I never had natural contractions. These, although uncomfortable, weren't nearly as bad and it felt so nice to be able to move around, sway, roll on the ball and lean on a counter, not to mention being able to drink water or have a snack! Emily was right there for every contraction lending support and comfort. :)

Tim got back around 11:30 p.m. and I told him we were ready to go to the hospital. We hopped in the car, Emily right behind us and off we went! We got to DePaul Medical Center about midnight and had a very easy admission. The 3 contractions in the wheelchair were a beast, but other than that we went straight to a room and got settled. I had tested positive for Group B Strep, so I got hooked up to an IV to get antibiotics and fluids. When the nurse checked me out, I was about 3-4 cm dilated and about 80% effaced.  I was still able to move around and drink water, huge blessing! Emily's support was priceless. Even when I had to lay down for one reason or another, she would gently rub my shins during contractions and knowing that I wasn't alone in this, that I had unwavering support, helped so much. :)

Around 4:30 a.m. I finally gave in and asked for some pain meds. It was a systemic medication that didn't really help with the pain, but it really helped me to relax and rest in between the contractions. Emily helped me to breathe through each contraction, helping me to relax and stay focused. Her constant reminders of breathing out low and loud were such a help. It was this deep, low, primal moan that really helped me to release all of that tension and stay loose. The more intense the contraction, the louder the wail. My water broke about 5 a.m. and what a relief that was! I couldn't believe how much there was in there and the release of pressure. Esther still hadn't dropped yet, but I was dilated to 7 cm. That's when it really hit me that things were progressing well. I was working through each contraction with my eyes closed, listening to the coaching of Miss Emily.

Around 5:45 a.m. I started hearing new voices in the room. When I opened my eyes I saw my doctor, a couple new nurses and the pediatrician. I started hearing words like "decreased heart rate" and was asked to put on oxygen. I was also hearing that she was still very high and I started to have flashbacks of the things I heard while in labor with Neva. The doctor had given me an episiotomy and had manually done some stretching and manipulating to try and get Esther into the right position. Still high and looking in the wrong direction. My husband was at my bedside, holding my hand and giving encouraging words. My doctor then told me they were thinking about c-section. They had anesthesia ready, the operating room was getting prepped and the surgical assistant was getting ready.

Then, our miracle happened.

With the next contraction, I pushed and all in one motion her heartbeat came back super strong she engaged and turned into the perfect position. My doctor looked at me and said "Her heartbeat is what's keeping us in this room right now. Let's get ready to push." I couldn't believe it! Our fates had changed in a matter of seconds. We were going to have us a baby! (I later found out that my mother-in-law woke up from a dead sleep and started to pray right at this crucial time. How cool is that?!) Esther got into the perfect position and we were ready to push. My doctor looked at me and told me that her heart rate was back where it should be and we were go to push. A couple of big pushes later, Esther's head had come out and her umbilical cord was wrapped so tightly around her neck, the doctor couldn't get his fingers in between the cord and her neck, hence the decreased heart rate. He got it figured out and we were ready to keep on pushing. A couple more big pushes and little Esther Grace in her entirety was here in the world!!! :)

We had a successful VBAC!!!!

Right after Esther arrived! :) We did it!!!!

All of the newborn "stuff" was done while I was in the room (unlike my c-section where I was able to see her for a minute then didn't see her again for the next 2 1/2-3 hours) and I was able to snuggle her within minutes.

Getting our skin-to-skin right away

The Dream Team!! Tim, Emily (the super doula!), me and miss Esther Grace

Esther Grace Chandler; 6 lbs 15 oz and 21 inches long

Heading to our recovery room. I still can't believe we did it!

Emily and Esther :) What an awesome experience for your first birth! :)

Our first family photo!!

When I started this whole journey, I didn't think I was going to get a doula. I thought they were overrated and I could do it on my own. I didn't need that hippy-dippy kinda stuff. Looking back, I know that I wouldn't have been able to handle the back labor or been able to stay relaxed and focused on my own. I would have gotten an epidural a couple of hours in. While my husband is very supportive and comforting, having the support of another woman (who's a third party and can distinguish between contraction pain and "something's wrong" pain) was incredible. Emily was right there when I needed her and Tim was right there when I needed him. Both of them together gave me the exact support and comfort that was necessary at the perfect times.


My mom was able to fly in on Sunday afternoon and hold her new granddaughter less than 12 hours after she'd arrived into the world.

I'm so happy with how this birth experience went and I hope that our next one goes as smoothly. :)

Closing in on D-Day!

We are two days away from being officially "full term"!!! Any day from February 17 to March 20, little Esther is going to make her arrival. (My due date is 3/10, my OB said he'd let me go 10 days over.) While all I have been given is worst-case scenarios and statistics from the medical side, he's agreed to let me try for my coveted VBAC if Esther comes on her own between 38-40 weeks. If she goes past her due date, we're most likely going to schedule a c-section to avoid risks of uterine rupture. I told him that sounds fair, at least he's willing to let me try (which is the whole reason I went to his practice in the first place).

On non-medical fronts, I'm getting an amazing amount of support! So many of my friends and family are giving me the cheers and encouragement that I feel I need to go in with the right attitude. I was also able to meet the wonderful woman who will be my doula for this experience. She's in training and I'm very excited to be able to work with her. I had my first meeting with her on Tuesday and we hit it off right away. I was so nervous of having every stereotype I dreaded (crazy, agenda-ridden, "grasp your power from Mother Earth", man-hater) and she is the exact opposite. She's sweet, calm, peaceful and supportive. I think I thanked her for not being crazy about 3 times... :) Not only that, but she volunteers with the Crisis Pregnancy Center of Tidewater (as I did last year, just a different area) and she and I are on the same page with all the big stuff. She specifically said "My only agenda is your agenda." Praise the Lord! :) While He hasn't answered all my prayers how I expected or hoped (seriously, how often does THAT happen?!), He has made Himself known and present in every aspect. And that... that is the biggest encouragement that I could ask for.

So now we wait. I'll keep hanging out on my exercise ball with my invisible hula hoop trying to work her down, which she is already well on her way. She's already lower at 36 weeks than Neva ever was. I'm interested to see how everything plays out. Emily (my doula) said my biggest job now is to stay relaxed. This is easier said than done. Life likes to get in the way of that. Things like toddlers getting sick, husbands working on their dissertations, husbands working full time and then trying to prepare for a new baby coming into this crazy world like to keep you from relaxing. We'll get there. :)

I'm looking forward to my mom coming out and helping. It'll be fantastic having her help with Esther and Neva. Hopefully Tim will be able to get a little bit of a break now and then too. :) It's just odd sitting on the couch knowing you're in the last page of a chapter of your life, not knowing what the new one holds.

Playing Catch-Up!

Okay, two months since my last post. We've been busy little bees around here!

Our family has moved to a new apartment complex and it has been AMAZING!! It's incredible how much you miss the little things that you haven't had for the last two years. Little things like... hot water, feeling safe in your own house, having nice neighbors, cars not speeding through your parking lot, sirens blazing by your living quarters between 10-15 times a day, police not coming into your complex on a near-daily basis.... ya know, just to name a few. Needless to say, things have been so much nicer living in our new digs. :) It's wonderful to have a peaceful home to be at before having our next little bundle arrive! :)

Then there was Christmas. We didn't do a lot this year, but I think Neva had fun. :) I got her dress for 75% off, so I was pretty excited about that. :) Grammy made her an awesome "I Spy" quilt that she loves. :)

Cutie pie... she loves those necklaces!

Neva's I spy quilt!

Pretty girl!!!

Christmas!

A week or two after we moved in, my parents came out to visit and help us get settled in. What a blessing! My dad hasn't ever been able to come out to Virginia, so it was a whole new experience for him. My poor mom worked her whole "vacation" to help us unpack boxes and organize our apartment. It already feels so much more peaceful  here than we ever felt at our other apartment. They had a blast hanging out with Neva, my dad was able to see where we live and go fishing with Tim and it was a wonderful trip. My dad was even able to feel baby #2 kick! It was an experience that he hasn't had in a long time. :)

Neva and Grampy were able to read 10 Little Ladybugs (her new favorite book she got from Nana for Christmas!)

Reading books with Nana during "calm down time" before bed

Grampy would take a picture and it made Neva laugh so hard!! We tag-teamed to get the reaction

Grampy and Neva at Surf Rider restaurant. Thanks to Grampy, Nana and I were able to eat in peace

Neva and I took Nana and Grampy to Hwy 55, our favorite burger joint!

We were also able to go to Bass Pro!!

While my parents were here, we were also able to get a 3D ultrasound done to take a peek in on Baby Esther. We got a couple of good photos, but apparently Esther isn't a huge fan of Mountain Dew (which they told me to drink beforehand to make sure she was active).

Baby yawn!

Perfect little foot

Peaceful sweetie

Oh yeah! And we picked a name!! Esther Grace! :) Tim picked Grace, so he left the first name up to me. I've always liked older names and I really like Old Testament Esther. :) Why not give someone the namesake of someone who saved her entire people by doing something unconventional? Esther Grace it is. :)

We were invited back to have another go at the ultrasound a couple weeks later to try and get some better pictures. She was much more tolerant and much happier baby. We got a lot better pictures!

Angel baby! She looks like Neva! :)

Rubbin' her sweet little eyes...

Sticking her tongue out at her big sister!

Is that a double chin I see?! And she's still got some time to put on some chunk!

Now that we've seen her on the inside, she's growing on the outside too! My belly is getting bigger by the day. I'm almost 33 weeks (yikes!) and my mom asked me to measure around my belly. Wowzers, wasn't ready for that shock....

41 1/2 inches around!! That's saying something since I'm only 63 inches tall. ;) It'll be fun to measure at the end of the pregnancy to see the difference. :)

I also started making toddler backpacks! Thanks to the design of my mother-in-law, she was able to help me figure it out and I made the blue one for Neva's best friend, Joe, for his birthday and the crazy owl one is for Neva. :)

 

Alright, I think that about catches us up. I'll try to not wait so long until my next update. :)